Cell phone stories – Part 2 of 3: Telemarketing

6 02 2006

Most of this blog is going to be in Hindi so English reading viewers kindly excuse.

The following is an excerpt of my conversation with a telemarketing agent:

Me: Hello?

She: Good evening sir.

Me: Good evening? What’s so good about this evening?

She: (ignoring my question) Sir, main Deepika bol rahi hoon ICICI Bank se.

Me: Kyon bol rahi hain aap?

She: (now perplexed) Kya sir?

Me: Maine poocha ki aap kyon bol rahi hain?

She: (now more perplexed by my question) Sir main ICICI bank se bol rahi hoon.

Me: Woh to aapne bataa hi diya hai, lekin aap yeh bataiye ki aap kyon bol rahi hain?

She: Sir maine aapko phone kiya tha apne bank ki kuch schemes ki jaankaari dene ke liye.

Me: Maine inquiry ki hai kya?

She: Nahi sir.

Me: To phir aapne kyon phone kiya?

She: Lekin sir agar aap inquiry karte to bhi aapko yehi information milti na jo main aapko dene jaa rahi hoon.

Me: First of all lady, aapne mujhko abhi tak koi information nahi di hai and secondly, information ke liye jab tak main inquiry nahi karoon tab tak aap mujhse baat mat kariye.

She: Sorry sir, lekin ab main kya karoon? Ab to maine aapko phone kar hi diya hai na.

Me: (exasperated by now) Madam, aap itni kam-akal hongi yeh mujhko maloom nahi tha.

She: (slightly pissed off by my remark) Kya sir?

Me: Arre simple si baat hai, aapne phone kiya hai to phone disconnect bhi to kar sakti hain?

She: (almost like realizing that this was common sense) Right sir!

Me: To phir phone katiye please.

She: Okay sir, ICICI Bank mein sampark karne ke liye dhanyawad.

Me: Hello! Maine aapko sampark kiya tha ya aapne mujhe sampark kiya tha?

She: (Realizing her mistake again) Oh sorry sir, have a nice day.

Me: Good bye

I think she must have worked previously for BSES Rajdhani Private Limited’s call center and must have got accustomed to saying ‘BSES mein sampark karne ke liye dhanyawad.

The net effect of this conversation was that I got her as pissed off as she had me by calling me unsolicited. And I wasted her phone call and one precious minute of hers. Not that it would go against her in anyway but still, I had the satisfaction of wasting as much of her time as she wasted mine.


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10 responses

18 09 2007
David Wilson

I have put some telemarketing advice on my site to help anyone who is struggeling with appointment setting.

22 02 2006
Crime Master Gogo

Ena,

Whats a worrying thing here (in India) is that so far they don’t have any law to curtail telemarketers. Last year Hutch started a do-not-call list. I registered on it but kept of receiving telemarketing calls. This was one sample of what we get here😛

Yes, I do remember that incident. Had me ROFLing all over again as I recalled it just now!

Cheers,
B’day boy

22 02 2006
Ena

Anuj!

ROFL…i hate telemarketin ppl!! lekin, they make big bux, thats why my frend went into telemarketin in the hols…coz u dun do nefin, yet u make moolah! hehehehehe

apparently the law here (that frend was tellin me) is that if u tell that telemarketin prsn to take u off their list. they cannot contact u again. like, if u say, dun call ma place again, they may send u mail etc etc or they may just wait a couple of days and den ring ya again.

i dunno wat the law is in india though….:P:D

oh man, and talkin bout bad incidents with telemarktn ppl in india…do u memba the one i was complainin bout sum tym ago?? where the guy wudnt stop callin me?? lolz.

Well…this comment has been long enuf. oopps!

10 02 2006
Crime Master Gogo

Baby Chandy Shandy Candy Dandy,

Me reply in Jailbird style:

Me not besharam. The girl besharam😛 by calling me unsolicited. She jealous of me and my cameraphone😀

Bluff master my friend who living in Kolkata. He one helluva gr8 guy. Dont take panga with him else he will beat Abhi baby and become the bestest SRK in the world ok bye now.

😛

Hehe, Me not able to copy jailbird style, but my trying me bestest.

Cheers,
Anuj

10 02 2006
Chandy Again :P

btw…bluffmaster can onli b 1 person and 1 person onli…my buff dahling Abhi! Ommgg didya noe that there was sum random poll in mumbai about the 5 most desirable actors in Bolly…and 1 was John Abraham (yuk yuk)..2. Sallu (ewwwwww!)…3. ABHI! (woohoo!)…4. SRK (um…mebbe 2 Karan Johars)…5. SAIF!!!! (:P)…jus goes 2 sho how shallow i am😛

cya agen,
Chandy

10 02 2006
Chandy

Aww that poor poor lady…bechari, musta bin so bemused by ur besharmi Anuj😛 hehehe😛 I fink she was jus a sweet and innocent girly…u wer jus jealous of dat :P:P

um…we get random calls from India here, its reli weird after hanging up de fone wiv my gori frends n der english accents…n all of a sudden i pik up and ders a “helooo, am i speak to de owner of your home ya?”..but i luv those freshie words…reminds me of my india!🙂

cyaz,
Chandy🙂

9 02 2006
Crime Master Gogo

You do a gr8 job with these ladies who call from those pesky banks but statutory warning: Don’t ever EVER go for Tata Indicom!

Cheers,
Anuj

9 02 2006
Bluffmaster!

Hehehe!

My dad has this habit of filling our phone no. in every damn things, so I am accustomed to this. But what I do is pretty uninteresting. The lady from banks calls at home, but dad’s always at office. When she asks for office phone no., I say its under repair, and he might soon have to change it, and switch it over to Tata Indicom! Then I promise calling her back to inform the new number, and she is still waiting…

Leak out…™
aLi.

6 02 2006
Crime Master Gogo

Thanks Pras, I too was literally ROFLing when she said that statement.

Cheers,
Anuj

6 02 2006
No Einstine HuH

😀

True to life blog infact can relate to it so easily since in recent weeks i have recieved ample such calls..lekin mera reply to simple sa NI rehta hai…hehe..The splitting part of the blog was when she says…ICICI mein sampark karne ke liye dhanyawaad.😀

Shatter more keys…™
Pras

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