Most of this blog is going to be in Hindi so English reading viewers kindly excuse.
The following is an excerpt of my conversation with a telemarketing agent:
She: Good evening sir.
Me: Good evening? What’s so good about this evening?
She: (ignoring my question) Sir, main Deepika bol rahi hoon ICICI Bank se.
Me: Kyon bol rahi hain aap?
She: (now perplexed) Kya sir?
Me: Maine poocha ki aap kyon bol rahi hain?
She: (now more perplexed by my question) Sir main ICICI bank se bol rahi hoon.
Me: Woh to aapne bataa hi diya hai, lekin aap yeh bataiye ki aap kyon bol rahi hain?
She: Sir maine aapko phone kiya tha apne bank ki kuch schemes ki jaankaari dene ke liye.
Me: Maine inquiry ki hai kya?
She: Nahi sir.
Me: To phir aapne kyon phone kiya?
She: Lekin sir agar aap inquiry karte to bhi aapko yehi information milti na jo main aapko dene jaa rahi hoon.
Me: First of all lady, aapne mujhko abhi tak koi information nahi di hai and secondly, information ke liye jab tak main inquiry nahi karoon tab tak aap mujhse baat mat kariye.
She: Sorry sir, lekin ab main kya karoon? Ab to maine aapko phone kar hi diya hai na.
Me: (exasperated by now) Madam, aap itni kam-akal hongi yeh mujhko maloom nahi tha.
She: (slightly pissed off by my remark) Kya sir?
Me: Arre simple si baat hai, aapne phone kiya hai to phone disconnect bhi to kar sakti hain?
She: (almost like realizing that this was common sense) Right sir!
Me: To phir phone katiye please.
She: Okay sir, ICICI Bank mein sampark karne ke liye dhanyawad.
Me: Hello! Maine aapko sampark kiya tha ya aapne mujhe sampark kiya tha?
She: (Realizing her mistake again) Oh sorry sir, have a nice day.
Me: Good bye
I think she must have worked previously for BSES Rajdhani Private Limited’s call center and must have got accustomed to saying ‘BSES mein sampark karne ke liye dhanyawad.’
The net effect of this conversation was that I got her as pissed off as she had me by calling me unsolicited. And I wasted her phone call and one precious minute of hers. Not that it would go against her in anyway but still, I had the satisfaction of wasting as much of her time as she wasted mine.